Mother: Acetobacter

He peered into the bottle.  "What the heck is that?"

"Well, most people think it's a fungus, but it's really a form of cellulose and bacteria. Perfectly harmless, and actually quite beneficial if your wine isn't that good to start," he replied.

"Well," said the first, "I suppose every dog has its day, so to speak."

"I suppose you pay extra for it these days."

"Indeed."

"Well, at least the salad should be tasty."

"Indeed."